It is already 12am on a Monday morning, I have to be at work in a few hours but I do not feel sleepy at all. I guess it was all my fault for sleeping for 2 hours in the afternoon. I am just not use to napping anymore.
I stared on the blogger post entry screen for over 10 minutes, I had no idea where to start writing. I have so much to write about but I have no idea where to start, how should I begin, how should I word my feelings ...
Have you ever feel that you no longer have your mind with you? When you are walking, all you feel is your feet and your body, you dont have a single thing on your mind, your body is on auto pilot.
Or when you are alone, sitting in front of the tv, your body isn't moving but your mind is going at 200 miles per hour. Thinking every possible thing that a man can possibly think under the sun?
The past 5 weeks had been a nightmare, I think I got to the lowest point in my life that sometimes I have no idea what to do. I understand that I have to pick myself up and move on, but how? What can I do?
Friends and family been telling me "you have to be strong" "you have to forget and dont think about it anymore" "you have to move on" "you have to do something to occupy yourself" "you have to eat" "you have to go out more".....
How come nobody tell me "You DONT HAVE to do anything; you have absolutely every right to grief as long as you need to". I simply find it hard to follow any of the above suggestions, i am finding it hard to forget, to move on, to be strong, to eat, to get a 2nd job to occupy myself.. why can't I just do whatever I want? Why is it so wrong to just grief and cry and be angry?
Monday, January 24, 2011
Monday, November 29, 2010
"I'm leaving you...."
Last Friday, my colleague told me that her daughter's partner left her last night.
Of course I went all the 'OMG" "What happened""How could he do that!"...
A bit of a background story, R (the daughter) has been with the bastard, G, for over 3 years, they are not married and have 2 children together, the youngest is only 7 months old.
R is same age as me, she is a stay-at-home mom, never had a career as such, just a normal job before she got retrenched then pregnant.
Before all these happened, I always tell my mom I dont know how R did it. I mean I would feel damn insecure if I am not educated, quit the only job I could get and make babies.
I was then also told that R and G do not have any savings, they live from week to week. I was even more gobsmacked after I heard that. So now R has to rely on Centrelink to pay her expenses, G still support the children but being a single mom to 2 young children, no job and no savings. I will have to try very hard not to kill myself if I am in her shoe.
I feel very very sorry for her, she is very upset obviously but has to pretend like nothing happened for the 2 children.
This bastard actually met up with R somewhere outside for late night shopping, an told her at the shopping centre that he is not going home and he is leaving her. Their eldest son, only 2, was crying because he wanted daddy, but he just walked away.
He then posted on his Facebook that he has left R, on the very same day.
I dont know how, but R managed to log into his Facebook and found that he was cheating on her all the while, and the other women is pregnant with his child, this woman also has a 14 weeks old baby...... OMG... can anyone be more 'bogan' than these 2 retards????
I was so speechless....
I feel sorry for R but then I think it was her fault to be so stupid to not to study, not to build a career before family planning...
Sigh.... I really dont know what to say
Of course I went all the 'OMG" "What happened""How could he do that!"...
A bit of a background story, R (the daughter) has been with the bastard, G, for over 3 years, they are not married and have 2 children together, the youngest is only 7 months old.
R is same age as me, she is a stay-at-home mom, never had a career as such, just a normal job before she got retrenched then pregnant.
Before all these happened, I always tell my mom I dont know how R did it. I mean I would feel damn insecure if I am not educated, quit the only job I could get and make babies.
I was then also told that R and G do not have any savings, they live from week to week. I was even more gobsmacked after I heard that. So now R has to rely on Centrelink to pay her expenses, G still support the children but being a single mom to 2 young children, no job and no savings. I will have to try very hard not to kill myself if I am in her shoe.
I feel very very sorry for her, she is very upset obviously but has to pretend like nothing happened for the 2 children.
This bastard actually met up with R somewhere outside for late night shopping, an told her at the shopping centre that he is not going home and he is leaving her. Their eldest son, only 2, was crying because he wanted daddy, but he just walked away.
He then posted on his Facebook that he has left R, on the very same day.
I dont know how, but R managed to log into his Facebook and found that he was cheating on her all the while, and the other women is pregnant with his child, this woman also has a 14 weeks old baby...... OMG... can anyone be more 'bogan' than these 2 retards????
I was so speechless....
I feel sorry for R but then I think it was her fault to be so stupid to not to study, not to build a career before family planning...
Sigh.... I really dont know what to say
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Summer
I absolutely hate summer! Grrr.... the weather just drive me nuts, I could feel that the pores on my face opening up, my hair getting greasier etc.
Not only that, I have to wake up earlier in summer because I have to water the plants and the lawn before I go to work, and I have no excuse not to take Cheska out for a morning walk. I love it after my walk but dread to get out of bed earlier.. Sigh
Oh, I have to change the liquid in the fly trap more often in summer because it will be filled with flies in no time and that bloody liquid is very very disgusting, stink to the max. But I have to do it to protect Cheska from fly bites.
Summer is also the time when I cannot hide my fat under any jacket... :(
Ok OK... I shall be positive.... I LOVE SUMMER FRUITS! Grape, mango, plum.... oh yes baby, come to mommy!
Not only that, I have to wake up earlier in summer because I have to water the plants and the lawn before I go to work, and I have no excuse not to take Cheska out for a morning walk. I love it after my walk but dread to get out of bed earlier.. Sigh
Oh, I have to change the liquid in the fly trap more often in summer because it will be filled with flies in no time and that bloody liquid is very very disgusting, stink to the max. But I have to do it to protect Cheska from fly bites.
Summer is also the time when I cannot hide my fat under any jacket... :(
Ok OK... I shall be positive.... I LOVE SUMMER FRUITS! Grape, mango, plum.... oh yes baby, come to mommy!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
My house
It has been 10 months since I signed the final building contract, after lots of drama and shouting, the construction of my first house.
I am glad to say the builder is a lot more efficient than WA Housing Centre. When they first put down the slab, I got a shock that the slab is sooo small!
However, once the walls are up, the house looks a lot bigger. I was told that it will look even bigger when it is ready. I sure hope so.
It is exciting to know that my house will be ready soon ...
Hopefully the builders can build quicker and my house can be ready by Christmas, the estimated completion would be January but I hope they would like to finish their project before Xmas...
Sunday, August 15, 2010
I am back
After almost a 'decade' of MIA, I have decided to start blogging again.
I should be in bed sleeping now so I will make my return post a rather short one. I do wonder if there is anyone reading my blog now.
Many things happened in the last 6 months.
I spent 2 months in Melbourne in Feb and March, helping out with a major project. I learned so much during these 2 months but I was also feeling lonely at the same time because I was all alone there. Mom and 2 aunts came to Melbourne to visit me for a week, taking advantage of the free accommodation my company provided.
Matt came and visit me end of March and we went to watch F1 together. It was a bad experience! The set up of Melb F1 was so poor, the weather was bad! I was exhausted and did not enjoy it at all!
I had a bit of drama at work end of May, I couldnt take the pressure and could no longer deal with the people I work with so I resigned. I did not expect my resignation to cause such drama, it went so far that my director rang me from Melbourne and offered me a very attractive package. So I stayed in the end with a pay rise and a promotion.
My house is finally under construction!!!!! The walls are all up, the roof is going up soon. The house looks so small... Gosh... Haha...
I can't wait for my holiday in October, will be heading back to KL with Matt and also going to spend a few days in Singapore. We seem to be going back to SG whenever we want a holiday! I dont know why! We are planning to go to Japan for our next holiday after the KL-SG trip, we will be getting a money tin and see how much we can save in coins by end of next June. :p
Ok.... I need to sleep... Will post more soon..
I should be in bed sleeping now so I will make my return post a rather short one. I do wonder if there is anyone reading my blog now.
Many things happened in the last 6 months.
I spent 2 months in Melbourne in Feb and March, helping out with a major project. I learned so much during these 2 months but I was also feeling lonely at the same time because I was all alone there. Mom and 2 aunts came to Melbourne to visit me for a week, taking advantage of the free accommodation my company provided.
Matt came and visit me end of March and we went to watch F1 together. It was a bad experience! The set up of Melb F1 was so poor, the weather was bad! I was exhausted and did not enjoy it at all!
I had a bit of drama at work end of May, I couldnt take the pressure and could no longer deal with the people I work with so I resigned. I did not expect my resignation to cause such drama, it went so far that my director rang me from Melbourne and offered me a very attractive package. So I stayed in the end with a pay rise and a promotion.
My house is finally under construction!!!!! The walls are all up, the roof is going up soon. The house looks so small... Gosh... Haha...
I can't wait for my holiday in October, will be heading back to KL with Matt and also going to spend a few days in Singapore. We seem to be going back to SG whenever we want a holiday! I dont know why! We are planning to go to Japan for our next holiday after the KL-SG trip, we will be getting a money tin and see how much we can save in coins by end of next June. :p
Ok.... I need to sleep... Will post more soon..
Sunday, February 14, 2010
分手快乐
我无法帮你预言委曲求全有没有用
可是我多么不舍朋友爱得那么苦痛
爱可以不问对错 至少有喜悦感动
如果他总为别人撑伞 你何苦非为他等在雨中
泡咖啡让你暖手 想挡挡你心口里的风
你却想上街走走吹吹冷风会清醒得多
你说你不怕分手只有一点遗憾难过
情人节就要来了剩自己一个
其实爱对了人 情人节每天都过
分手快乐祝你快乐你可以找到更好的
不想过冬厌倦沉重就飞去热带的岛屿游泳
分手快乐请你快乐挥别错的才能和对的相逢
离开旧爱像坐慢车
看透撤了心就会是晴朗的
没人能把谁的幸福没收
你发誓你会活的有笑容
泡咖啡让你暖手想挡挡你心口里的风
你却想上街走走吹吹冷风会清醒得多
你说你不怕分手只有一点遗憾难过
情人节就要来了剩自己一个
其实爱对了人情人节每天都过
分手快乐祝你快乐你可以找到更好的
不想过冬厌倦沉重就飞去热带的岛屿游泳
分手快乐请你快乐挥别错的才能和对的相逢
离开旧爱像坐慢车
看透撤了心就会是晴朗的
没人能把谁的幸福没收
你发誓你会活的有笑容
你自信时候真的美多了
可是我多么不舍朋友爱得那么苦痛
爱可以不问对错 至少有喜悦感动
如果他总为别人撑伞 你何苦非为他等在雨中
泡咖啡让你暖手 想挡挡你心口里的风
你却想上街走走吹吹冷风会清醒得多
你说你不怕分手只有一点遗憾难过
情人节就要来了剩自己一个
其实爱对了人 情人节每天都过
分手快乐祝你快乐你可以找到更好的
不想过冬厌倦沉重就飞去热带的岛屿游泳
分手快乐请你快乐挥别错的才能和对的相逢
离开旧爱像坐慢车
看透撤了心就会是晴朗的
没人能把谁的幸福没收
你发誓你会活的有笑容
泡咖啡让你暖手想挡挡你心口里的风
你却想上街走走吹吹冷风会清醒得多
你说你不怕分手只有一点遗憾难过
情人节就要来了剩自己一个
其实爱对了人情人节每天都过
分手快乐祝你快乐你可以找到更好的
不想过冬厌倦沉重就飞去热带的岛屿游泳
分手快乐请你快乐挥别错的才能和对的相逢
离开旧爱像坐慢车
看透撤了心就会是晴朗的
没人能把谁的幸福没收
你发誓你会活的有笑容
你自信时候真的美多了
Monday, February 01, 2010
Single Life
It is 1am at the moment, I have just done my weekly manicure, waiting for the nails to dry before I start my pedicure.
Out of a sudden, I thought about my single life and oh boy, how I miss it.....
Going to bed any time I want, not worry about not having the energy I need for work because I can take a nap once I get home.
I can sleep in on weekends! No need to wake up to anything, not the dog, not the early seafood market.
I have enough disposable income to buy the clothes I want, get the manicure and pedicure done by the pro while I sit there, relax and read magazine.
I have many guys trying to ask me out and tell me how gorgeous I look... (Ok right, I like compliments, who doesn't!?)
Going out straight after work and no need to worry about the dog is not fed, the plants need water.
No need to put a mental note, "remember to put the bin out by Wed morning!"
No need to have a weekly shopping list, no need to keep track of how many toilet rolls left in the cupboard, no need to keep a close eye on the olive oil, grab them when they are on specials.
Bwah..... I am so AUNTY!
Out of a sudden, I thought about my single life and oh boy, how I miss it.....
Going to bed any time I want, not worry about not having the energy I need for work because I can take a nap once I get home.
I can sleep in on weekends! No need to wake up to anything, not the dog, not the early seafood market.
I have enough disposable income to buy the clothes I want, get the manicure and pedicure done by the pro while I sit there, relax and read magazine.
I have many guys trying to ask me out and tell me how gorgeous I look... (Ok right, I like compliments, who doesn't!?)
Going out straight after work and no need to worry about the dog is not fed, the plants need water.
No need to put a mental note, "remember to put the bin out by Wed morning!"
No need to have a weekly shopping list, no need to keep track of how many toilet rolls left in the cupboard, no need to keep a close eye on the olive oil, grab them when they are on specials.
Bwah..... I am so AUNTY!
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