Monday, February 04, 2008

I come across many people with different intensions when it comes to relationship. Some would just like to have a companion, doesn't matter if they would get married or not, some with the motive of having a family, some looking for a husband to financially support them because they are less capable than other women, and ect.

Sometimes, I still question myself, what do I want? Karen always asks me what do I want..... which I have to admit, quite often, I am not very certain. Seems that my wants are always changing. I think Karen is going to slap me one day.

When I see chubby babies, I want to be a mother immediately! When I see kids trying to climb up to the rails, counters, I don't want any children anymore. I see friends walking down the isle, I feel like arranging my own wedding, when I see friends negotiating settlement from their divorce, I swear marriage is no longer promising.

You see the problem? I dont fucking know what I want, does it mean I dont deserve to be in a relationship and seek what I want?


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