Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Have you ever wonder if you are a liar? Do you lie everyday? Or is there a day that you do not lie?

Everybody lies, when you compliment your colleague about his tie, though it is hideous, that’s a lie. We are accustomed to the culture that ‘we should be polite and nice, hence it is OK to lie’. He lies, she lies, you lie, I lie. Everyone is lying about something everyday. How can we blame the children for lying when we are doing it everyday? “Eat your dinner, else the police will come and arrest you.” “Don’t swallow the seed, a tree may grow in your stomach”

Sad to say, one that doesn’t lie may not survive in this community because one may offend a lot of people for being honest. Why don’t we do a small experiment? Let’s be honest for a day, or maybe just 12 hours, excluding the hours you spend in bed. See the outcome; you may screw up big time during the 12 hours.

Let’s see, what if I have to be honest at work just for the day.

Example one:

Customer : When will my truck be ready? You told me it would be ready this morning.

Liar Me: Sorry, but the supplier did not manage to deliver the part in time so I am afraid we need a couple more hours.

Honest Me: Oh well, there are bigger jobs at the moment that we can earn more money from. So, BAD LUCK! Wait for a few more hours.

See the difference?

We have passively developed a habit to lie, lie to make others feel better.

Run through a list of friends in your mind, try to find ONE that you are certain that doesn’t lie. I want to meet him/her, I am going to give him/her a treat. :D

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Sometimes, I do wonder if I can date an Asian guy ever again. I have never expected myself to go out with an aussie, but I do now. (Don't worry baby! I still love you for now!)

I was in Northbridge today to collect my air ticket. When I stepped into the agency, I saw a guy sitting in front of a sales person, I thought he was pretty good looking for an asian guy, smart hairstyle and nice jacket, decent looking guy for sure.

Then my mom stuffed up my credit card, the bank needed 10 mins to fix it so I took a walk around Northbridge, enjoying the weather and sunshine. I bumped into the guy again in front of Timezone, he was on the phone. As I walked past him, I heard "Oi, where eat lah? Northbridge or where? Northbridge lah, I in Northbridge now!". I swear to God, all the good impression burst like bubble in my head.

The asian guys in Perth can be categorised into 2 categories, the ABC who know minimal Chinese culture and family values (Which I regard highly), or the ones studied and stayed on who still speak English like an AH BENG!

Don't get me wrong, I do speak with lah, ah, mah... sometimes (very seldom) to friends who I speak cantonese too and I am not saying my English is perfect but come on, it totally puts me off when a guy use LAH, AH, Mah in every single sentence.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

So my dad is here now, he will be here for the next few days.

7am this morning, he started preparing for dinner, even though I kept telling him that dinner won’t be starting till 12 hours later, he still insisted to continue cooking. I left him alone and off I went to work.

Before I left, he offered to cook breakfast for me, I told him no as I only have coffee in the office but he still made this sandwich for me. He folded a slice of bread with egg and lettuce, and wrapped it in gladwrap.

I took it and thought I can have it for lunch after I take Matt to the airport during lunch hour.

I just had the sandwich and gosh, the sandwich did bring back memory. A signature of my dad’s sandwich has always been honey. My dad likes to coat the bread with some honey, so the sandwich always has a hint of sweet smell and taste. The sandwich tasted exactly like the one he used to make for me when I was in primary school. The only difference was, the sandwich he made back in primary school was a lot bigger, I think he is trying to help me loose weight now.

I remember an episode of Sex and The City, Carrie was talking about a pimple and a first date. A pimple is a very tiny thing, but it becomes so big on the day you are going to your first date with someone you really like. So, doesn’t matter how small and unimportant an object is, it will show its significance at a certain moment.

Though the sandwich is a lot smaller than the one I had when I was in primary school, but it seems so big now : )

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Do you remember the times when you were young? The times that you fell down, cried and your parents would carried you and helped you to stand on your feet again?

Recently, I have this strong urge to go back to those times, times when I could whine and snuggle up to my mom, complained to her about the bullies in school and told her about my ambitions.

I remember that when I first transferred to my former highschool, I was under so much pressure that one night I just woke up from my sleep and started crying. I was sleeping with my mom that night and my mom was very shocked that I was under so much stress as I was just a 13 year old. She told me to take it easy and she didn’t expect whatsoever extraordinary achievement from me except being a healthy and happy person.

True enough, my mom has never requested any achievement from me, whenever she sees me stressing over something, such as studies, work. She would offer to take me on a short trip to relax and asked me to skip school for the day. I remember when I first came to Perth, I had terrible home sick and often found myself crying at night because I felt so lonely. Once my mom knew that, she bought me a ticket to go back to Malaysia for 2 weeks after just 4 weeks since my 1st semester began.

Then when I wanted to get my PR, my mom supported me fully even though that would cost her $15k Ringgit. I was stressed again as I was afraid that one day I may feel regret for staying in Perth, what if things become bad for me in Perth? I would feel very guilty if I give up my PR one day. Then again, my mom told me not to worry. She said “Come back to Malaysia if you are unhappy, money doesn’t matter, I can earn the money again but I can’t earn your happiness”

2 months ago, I was in a pretty bad shape and things weren’t going very well for me. I was unhappy. Once my parents knew it, my dad called me one morning and asked me to go home for a break. He offered to pay for everything.

Deep in my heart, I know very clearly that my happiness is the utmost important thing to my parents. They always try to give me the message that ‘no matter how screwed up am I, they will welcome me home and help me to stand on my feet again’

I feel really blessed to have parents like them and often feel very bad for leaving them behind in Malaysia. I can’t wait for them to move to Perth after my mom retires.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Do you realise that when our friends are upset over some problems, we would always say “hey, shit happens, tomorrow will be a better day.”

I did that too, I even told myself that, but somehow tomorrow seems too far away sometimes. How many people can actually act as they say “Shit happens, move on”? I usually will bury myself in sadness and misery for a week before I can live normal again.

When I see unfortunate incidents happen to my friends, I often imagine myself being in the same shoe and I will ask myself what would I do?

Most of my friends say that I am a strong person; I have to confess that I am not that strong but I just know that I have to do the right things by moving on and again tell myself “shit happens, things could be worst, I have to move on.”

Putting up a strong image, telling jokes, laughing at other’s silly incidents are the way I cover my sadness. Crying in the bathroom during shower seems like the most comforting moment to me sometimes.

Hey! Shit happens!

Monday, August 06, 2007

So I have been busy packing whole weekend and started moving bits and pieces to the new place. I threw away heaps of stuff; clothes, books, junk.

At that moment, I had to agree that women can totally be in self-denial sometimes. As I was rampaging through my wardrobe, deciding which piece to throw and which go to the Sammy blabla. I started trying out clothes that I have never worn for a long time. Then I started telling myself:

“Erm… just have to loose an inch on the bum then this jeans will look good, shall keep it.”

“Maybe this pattern will come back in fashion…”

“I just have to breath in when I stand up… I can still wear this pants..”

“Loose another 2 kgs and I am sure I will look gorgeous in this skirt..”

I ended up with almost nothing to throw away.

Who am I kidding really? After eating a bowl of homemade Green tea ice-cream, I knew that I had to give those clothes away!

Talking about self-denial.

I was glad that I managed to clear half my wardrobe at the end of the day. Packed 2 full big garbage bag of clothes to give away and one small bag of clothes that I think I can sell on eBay. :D

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Very often, I sit down with a cuppa and start reviewing things happened recently. Did I do that right? Was I being judgemental? Did I hurt his feelings? Was I a bad person in that situation?

I believe people around have their reviews about me as well. I was told several times by some close friends, “Don’t be bothered with what people think/say about you.” Can we actually do that? I can’t, seriously. I don’t want to be the black sheep in others’ eyes.

Sometimes, I want to do something and I can foresee the circumstances, I know that I will be extremely sad doing what I want to do. Ironically, I also know that I have to do it instead of living miserably.

People always say “the grass is greener on the other side”. However, a person that I respect highly told me “Jane, the grass is not always greener on the other side, but I can assure you, there is grass.” How true is that? When you are in a bad relationship, friends and family would say, don’t stay in it if you are not happy, get out and you will find a better one next time; I do that too. But how sure are we that the next person will be better? We can only hope for the best. Although the next guy may not be better, BUT there are a lot of guys out there. True enough, if you are not happy, get out but don’t exit with a thought that “I can definitely get a better one next round” AND the person you are leaving may think the same. J

We all know, every woman would at least say that to themselves once in their life, “The next one will be better.”

I ever broke up with a guy that I truly loved, I felt really happy and blessed to be with him. We were very in love but we had to break up because we knew the circumstances would be very bad if we stayed together. The moment we broke up, I thought “will I find a better one?” How funny, that was the first time I had doubt about my future. I would say I have moved on and I truly understand “there is grass on the other side, they may not be greener but they still have the same nutrients” J

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

So Matt was exposed to Malaysian Manglish and Singaporean Singlish lately.

Not my fault of course, he said I never speak with lah, ah….blablabla

So one day… while we were playing World of Warcraft

Me: Baby.. can you wait for me in Darnasus?

Matt: OK LAH

Me: Then we will go to Ashenvale.

Matt: Sure LAH

Me: …. Singaporean wanna be?

10 mins later

Me: I dinged! Level 26 now!

Matt: Good. Hihihi Lah!

Me: What’s Hihihi?

Matt: I don’t know, I saw some Asians typed that in the car forum.

Me: …. Make sure you fully understand the words before you use them next time.

Matt: I want to go to Malaysia and Singapore, so I can finish every sentence with LAH

Me: OMG. I am dating an ah beng now.

Matt: What’s that!!??