Today is one of those days that I am filled with mixture feelings...

I feel sad because one of my colleagues was leaving the company. After 32 years of service, he decided to move on and he gave me a bunch of flowers as Thank You gift. He was the grumpiest person in the company but he was always helpful to me and often came into my office and chat to me.

He has given me tremendous help and definitely made my life easier in the company.

I am also happy today because I found out one of my friends is engaged and this couple are extremely sweet and loving; finally decided to tie the knot after 9 years of being together.

So I have reached the phase when the people around me are getting married and of course my mom has been nagging me to get married. I am trying to make her understand finding a husband is not as easy as buying a chicken from the market.

I do wish one day I will find the special someone whom I can spend the rest of my life with and create a few junior replicas. On the other hand, I am afraid of a life long promise and commitment, afraid of being heart broken at the end of the day.

Past experience haunts me, I ever thought I have found the person and I was wrong. I think I need a long time to build up the courage to believe again