Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Met up with one of my buddies today, went to a mamak stall to have the authentic 'roti canai' and 'maggie mee goreng'. The food was so cheap, 2 roti, 1 mee and 2 drinks cost us only RM9.20, which is AU$3. Wahaha.. I LOVE good deals

As usual, we talked about our bfs, I believe there are problems in every relationship. She is worried about her bf's future, how are they heading; I am worried about 'our' future, where are we heading.

Often, we see our friends or people around us happily in-love and we think they are going to be happy forever. However, there could be some problems that we don't see; who knows what's happening behind closed doors?

It is within human nature that we only see what we want to see, we see the good sides of a matter and we would like to have it; totally ignoring the short coming, self asssure that we can be as good. Are we in denial again?

I admit I often compare my relationship to others, I know I shouldn't but I just couldnt help it. I often tell myself, I ain't perfect so I do not expect my bf to be the perfect person.

Sometimes, I see my friends being so in love and happy, I will then compare Matt to their bfs and think 'sigh... why can't he be that sweet and loving'. Then when my friends get upset with their bfs, I will think 'Wow, I am glad Matt isn't like that'.

I know I know! I am a total hypocrite because I am expecting Matt to be perfect. I am glad I know my weakness and things that I am doing wrong and learn to appreciate Matt more though he still likes to tease me and sees me getting angry. Pfft.. !

Whenever I am upset with Matt, I will share with my best friends, I am surprise they can always remind me the good things that Matt has done for me. I think it is also within the human nature to pick up negative things when we are upset and totally forgetting the good things that have happened.

Sometimes I do feel scare that our relationship may not last, I think the more I treasure it, the more afraid I would get. I love Matt, thus I believe that's why I am afraid to lose him. No, I am not afraid to admit that I love my bf. So if you feel this is too much, you can f*** off now.

I am trying to learn to compare less and ignore what others comment about my relationship because I know better than anyone else that Matt and I are putting in effort to make the relationship works and we try not to give up even when we feel like killing one another.

They wouldn't know what is happing to us behind our closed door!

I know this post is totally irrelevant to my KL trip, but heck, this is MY blog.

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