Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Yoga Again

I am thinking of taking up Yoga again, I need something to help me relax.

I am so overwhelmed by work and studies lately, that I couldn't sleep well at night and I am starting to resent work (Which is definitely a big NO NO seeing my expenses are ever increasing).

Relationship wise... oh well.. full of ups and downs. I started to review my past relationships and all my ex bfs. A friend every commented that I am a person who needs to be constantly in love, I need to have a bf and I am lucky enough to hardly run out of men in my past 25 years of lives. She said it could because it is important for me to find a companion, that's why I am never short of 'bf'.

I started dating when I was 16...... that was when I lost my first kiss, it was a total disaster.

1st bf - Chen Seng.....

He is a very tall guy, I had no idea why I decided to be with him. I was too young I guess, too much pressure from parents; I wasn't allowed to have bf at that age. I felt he was rather possesive, because he wanted to talk to me on the phone every night and see me every weekend, which should be normal for normal couple; but not for me. In the end, I was tired of the pressure and sneaking around, I ended it. He did try to ask me out again a couple of years later, but feelings weren't there for sure and he wasn't that type of guy I wanted.

2nd bf - Kwang Hooi

He was the first guy that I showed to my parents. My parents were happy with him, because he was stable, mature, had a career and very protective towards me. Again, I think it wasn't the right timing, I was young; only 18, I wanted all the attention I could get from him. Unfortunately, his career came before me and he was spending less and less time on me. I gave up finally, but he asked for a second chance; I gave in. 2 weeks later, I called him to end it, simply because I am tired of struggling, tired of getting attention from him, tired of telling him I am lonely.

3rd bf - Michael

Ha ha.. I am not sure if I should call him my 'bf', because he wasn't serious with me at all. He was just fooling around and I caught him cheating. Believe it or not, he is still trying to get my attention at this very moment and asked me to forgive him for something that happened 7 years ago. He was the biggest black mark in my life.....

4th bf - Andrew

I never doubted his sincerity towards me. I knew he was very serious about the relationship and planned for our future. Unfortunately, his attitude was wrong. Our relationship was the most miserable one that I ever had. We were together for 18 months, but I cried for 12 months. He is married with 1 duaghter in US now, but his attitude is still the same. I feel sorry for his wife.

5th bf - Adrian

Adrian was a fantastic bf, but to be honest, I have always doubted his love to me when we were together. When it all ended, I was quite convinced that he didn't love me as much as he claimed he did, because his love to his religion is way over and beyond our love. It took me awhile to get over the break up, I was so devastated that I thought of giving in, choosing to believe in things I couldn't believe. I was glad we didn't patch up, now I could see Adrian will never be the man I desire. He is getting married in April, glad that he found the girl he wanted.

6th bf - Matt

Matt is by far the most intelligent bf I ever had, smart and has this wicked sense of humour. He never failed to make me laugh and of course make me cry very easily as well. This relationship is full of ups and downs but I have never given up. Whenever I felt like giving up, there was always some sort of light led me back believing things will be alright. Matt is unique compare to the guys I dated, maybe that's why I am crazy over him and I still love him very much. We have very similar interests, except for cars, we like watching basketball (I am not as crazy as him), we believe in working hard and enjoying life when we can, we have similar taste when it comes to fashion and style. I do hope he is my last bf.....

No comments: