Work + Exam + Pimples

Argh..... I am feeling pretty moody, cranky and annoyed lately.

I have to study, study and study after work, during weekends, in the toilet, before I sleep....blablabla. Guess what? I dont feel confident at all with the exam.....

• Criteria to be satisfied at time of application
• Criteria to be satisfied at time of decision
• Public Interest
• Visa Conditions
• Circustances after visa is granted

Kill me! Every visa subclass has its individual criteria, interest and conditions... and there are like 100 subclasses and I am expected to be familiar with them. Not memorise them but I have to know exactly where to go to find this information.

The nightmare is, the immigration department may change the legislation whenever they want, so everyday, I have to keep up with the latest Gazette Notice..

Dont know what am I talking about? Neither do I....

Grumble...

Very often, we hear people say 'they are taking things for granted'; Christians would say 'They are taking God for granted'; parent would say 'the kids are taking us for granted'.

Now, I want to say 'My friends are taking me for granted..'

Lately, few of my friends came to me with their personal problems and asked me for help and advice. So I tried my best to help them, went out of my way to help them; but they did not listen to my advice nor acknowledging my help.

I am upset, angry and cranky.... I have decided to take a step back. Yes, I will continue to help them whenever they need me, I love helping people but I would only help those who indeed need help; I would not help those who will just sit there, whine and cry.

Nobody can help you if you dont at least try to help yourself; nobody will love you if you do not love yourself.

I know very clearly that there's only so much I can do, alot of things are beyond my reach.

To a very special friend, I tried my best to help and I hope you could see the effort I put in for the past few weeks. But there is only so much I can do, if you really want to give up on everything, including yourself, there is nothing I can do nor say. What hurt me hard is you too are taking our friendship for granted. I believe I have been a great friend to you and I am not sure what else can I do to make you feel better. All I can say is Good Luck....

Bla bla bla

Quite a number of guys asked me out during the past few weeks, I have no idea why but I did not go out with any of them, I wasn't interested.

I have a few male friends who are addicted to World of Warcraft, I play that game too but I wouldnt say I have to play it everyday. But these friends of mine, they play 24/7 if they could, if they need to work and only get home at 5pm, they will play from 5pm till midnight. They eat in front of the pc and take only 5 mins to bathe. I cant stand these guys..... lifeless I would say. The worst thing is, they expect me to do the same thing, they will nag me if I dont go online everyday.

Been thinking of moving out, wishing to rent somewhere but parents keep nagging me, asked me to wait for another 8 months to buy my own property.

Once I buy a house, I am dead...... smashed by debts......

Wish me luck

Random Ramblings

I dont know why suddenly I have the urge to blog about 'guys that I don't like'....

I dont like guys who:

1. Only talk about footy, basketball, rugby and cars! They know what's a RX 8 but they have no idea what fabric softener is for.
2. Guys who are more self conscious than me....
3. Guys who use more skin care products than me
4. Guys who play online games 24/7 and think getting to the top level is the greatest achievement
5. Short sighted and narrow minded
6. Guys who think with their balls
7. Guys who think getting shag is their responsibilities
8. Guys who couldnt care less about their parents
9. Guys who only know 'fuck you, shit you and damn you' when they are quarreling with someone. Come on!
10. Think they they are the emperors and their gfs should listen to them!

:p

Ponder

When I was hanging my laundry today, something hit me.....

When Adrian and I were studyign in Perth, I often did his laundry and cooked meals for him. I never complaied spending hours cooking his meals or taking time to handwash some of his clothes; but I would get mad if he kept me waiting for mroe than 30 mins. How wierd?

Untill now, I still couldnt figure out why wouldnt I mind spending 2 hours to cook him dinner but complained about watching TV and waited for him for 30 minutes.

Oh, a dude asked me out twice and cancelled twice. He came to apologize and told me all sort of reasons. I said 'is ok, whatever', I am glad he got the hint and never asked me out again.

FFK me once, shame on you; FFK me twice, shame on me.

Jane's Transition

Age : 18

Age: 19

Age: 21

Age: 23 ~24

See the difference? My face is getting rounder.... *stomp away

Casul Dating

When I was 18~19, I dated a few guys simultaneaously, i was playing the have fun, no string attach game. It was fun, I went out with them at elast once a week; dinner, movie and dancing.

6 years later, I still keep in touch with one of them....

2 months ago (2 days after the break up), I received a SMS from him; to make typin easier, lets call him KW.

KW sent me a SMS; he said "Hey, how are you? Going out tonight? I have a few plans tonight but I still have a moment to think of you.' Now.... either I am too sensitive or I am getting the idea right, why did he need to tell me he is thinking of me?

I replied "I am not feeling too good, just broke up with my bf. So how are you?'

He replied "Oh, sorry to hear that. I am fine, I am getting married next year.'

Of course, I did not reply him after that. If you are getting married next year, please do not spare a moment to think of me.

Maybe I am over sensitive, but having a guy who you used to date telling you that he is thinking of you when he is getting married in a few months time is very creepy.

Recently, the similar situation occurred to me. Seems that I am falling into the casual dating scene again. Just that this time, I seem to have lost the ability to play the 'no string attach' game, how I wish I kept a diary when I was 18~19, so I would have a guide to casual dating now.

So a quick update on the casual dates that I had 6 years ago; one has disappeard after my refusal to a steady relationship, 2 are getting married, 2~3 have disappeard too....

Life.... so exciting and unpredictable

My Dad

I always reveal the conversations I had with my mom, let me show you one with my dad.

*************************************
Me: Hello, this is Jane

Dad: Jane! Papa ah....

Me: Oh...hi..whats up

Dad: Nothing, just checking out on you. You working?

Me: *duh..this is my office number* yup yup

Dad: Oh..this morning...my stomach ached...so terrible. I rushed to the toilet, once I sat down... wah... "splash"....feel so good

Me: Iyah! I dont have to know how they come out lah!

Dad: hahahahah.....

Me: ..........

***********************************

Please meet my dad

Deaths

I don't know what to write.....................

A person who is very close to me attempted suicide on Sunday; she sent me a SMS before she took 60+ tablets, she said she loves me lots, thank me for being so supportive and helpful and good bye.

I was sleeping when she sent me the SMS, I didnt read it till 2 hours later and my body just frozed when I read the msg. Immediately I called my fren to track her down.

Thank God her family found her and sent her to hospital in time.

I felt very helpless because I couldnt help her and I didnt stop the incident.

Then another friend told me that I am giving up myself to heal my wound from the break up... I was speechless... I hate myself suddenly

I was walking along the streets in Northbridge........ recalling the first night I spent in NB... with Jack, Carol and Adrian. God, time flies... 4 years ago, I didnt expect that I would work and live in Perth. Suddenly I saw a reflection on the glass of one of the shops, I saw a girl standing alone there and I felt so sad for her. I turned around and ran to my car .....

Rottnest

I went to Rottnest on Saturday, spent a day cycling and playing on the beach with Candice, Chaya and Wei.

I've never been to Rottnest but I totally love it, the weather and teh beach are superb. The sand on the ebach is so fine and soft. Fantastic!

I think this is a stupid picture

The view in front of the balcony where my friends are staying.

Me and poser Wei

Chaya & Me

麻醉

我是否以放纵的方式来麻醉自己呢?

很累......

哪里可以当我的避风港....?