Global Warming

Who am I?

I was reading Wei's blog and she mentioned how I treat her as a friend....

Recently, I have decided to cut the crap and delete all the people who I do not wish to talk to from my MSN, to my surprise, I deleted more than 15 people in one go. Do I really hate them? Nah, I dont but I just think they are not interested in talking to me so why waste our time?

I will delete someone from my MSN if she/he:

1. Doesn't reply to my MSG 5 out of 10 times
2. Msg me 10 times "You there?" even when I put away
3. Offend me
4. Let me find out she/he ever blocks me
5. Nudge me all the time

I even deleted some of my "close" friends because they have simply changed .. they still msg me once in a while, just that above their nick will have "XXX is not in your contact list" and I will give them my minimal response.

Yes, alot of people are in my block list too.

I am not saying that these people dont deserve to be my friends, is just that we are no longer on the same page nor share any common interests. So best to leave it and move on before we ignite the fire and quarrel till we can no longer be friends.

So how do I treat my friends?

I am always there for my friend, even if it is 3am or 6am in the morning, having hang over and have barely 2 hours of sleep.

I will stand up for my friends, I can't stand other people bullying my friends or even take advantage from my friends. Of course, I will only claw them with my friends' permission, I dont want to interfere with my friends' business too much, I respect their privacy and independence.

I respect my friends decisions as long as they are not harmful to others. I will tell my friends if I think they are doing the wrong thing, I can be very straight forward and harsh but my intention is to bring the msg across as fast and effective as possible.

I am not possesive, I dont require my friends to spend time with me everyday. I believe true friends are not required to meet at a regular basis. HY and I nvr met for almost 3 years and yet we are still very close. I appreciate my friends and often I will send msg and even call my friends and jsut ask them how are they doing? Nothing significant but often is the thought that counts.

Six Bad Days

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80, 000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, they were both eaten by a killer whale.

2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.

3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours short of the 400-day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.

4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

And finally...

6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now! Your day's not so bad, is it?

What do I look for?

So I had dinner with Wei last night in Fremantle, had my favourite pasta.

Then of course I talked about the guys and she told me about her gals.

Again, we talked about T, coz he is really driving me up the walls, he calls me and sms me multiple tiems a day to ask me out even when I made it clear that I will be busy for the next few days. He just likes to push his luck further and further and I am on the edge of yelling at him.

I never like pushy guys and I am not a possesive/sticky gf (you may verify with all my ex's) so i expect the same thing from the guy. I need to have my own space and spend time with my other friends. I don't like to go out with him every single day, my God... I can feel my anger rising now.

Moreover, we have nothing in common to talk about ... I think I need to tell him off soon, very soon!


Then we digressed to "looks", I realised that cute guys dont interest me if they cant challenge me intellectually or even have a 'interesting' conversation with me. So I guess look doesnt really matter to me as long as the guy doesnt look like this guy >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sigh.... The farking City to Surf Walk....

I had an eventful weekend I would say, everything turned up to be so terrible that I feel like banging my head on the wall now.

Friday:

1. Had to leave early and go home to feed the dogs coz my cousin was too busy to feed them.
2. Rushed to Northbridge hopefully still can catch up with my boss for her birthday celebration; couldnt locate her ad her phone was dead. Walked around in NB for 15 minutes
3. Rushed to nedlands to have dinner with a friend
4. Called T while waiting for my friend to explain the whole entire "I am not ready" situation because he didnt seem to understand when I told him that on Thursday night
5. Eyes rolling when T asked me to join him in Joondalup. whats wrong? There I told him I want to take things slow and meeting a friend tonight, there he asked me to oin him in Joondalup.
6. Friend was late... great and I was the one who paid for the dinner. I owed him a dinner
7. T kept SMSing and calling me through the night, keep asking if I wanted to go to Joondalup when I have told him a few tmes that I am with my friend n Northbridge. Gr....
8. Got a msg from C, telling me she didnt get her confirmation email. Sorry but I have done all I could and they already sent her another email. She should have followed up by herself.

Saturday

1. Woke up to a SMS from Wei, telling me she didnt sleep and cried, her knee was hurting badly. I woke up, tried to find a GP for her.....
2. Washed up and sent her to the hospital for after hours GP. Waited there for more than 1 hour I think...
3. T called me again! He asked if I want to catch a movie tonight. Hello!!!?? I told you on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday that I am occupied all weekend. Whats wrong with you? I ended up saying "Didnt I tell you that I have plans for the weekend? I just told you last night and I told you multiple times!" Sorry but I just couldnt help it, I dont like to be pushed
4. Helped her to get medicine, crutch (I dunno how to spell) and lunch coz she cant have medicien with empty stomach.
5. Sent her home, rushed to my uncle's shop to close up and collect the money
6. Rushed to sueprmarket to get another set of t-shirts for the printing
7. Realised it was too late to colelct the Race Pack..... &^$^%$!%^%#%$@# Never been that angry !
8. Tried to lcoate boss and explained, thank God it is ok without race number..she didnt mind
9. Went out for dinner, thank God the food was good.
10. Realised we bloody can't print the pictures on the t-shirt. Great! fantastic!

Sunday:

1. Didn't sleep till 4am due to gastric
2. Woke up late
3. Rushed to the office to meet up with boss and a friend, explained the t-shirt thing. SHe was not happy at all and said she won't arrange this walk again next year.
4. I told them had to give it a miss, the gastric is killing me as I am typing away.....
5. Boss is not happy, duh....

What can be worst?

Out of the game

I have been seeing this guy, lets call him T. I forgot where exactly did we meet but I went out with him a few times and he seems very nice.

T is a chef, working on oil/mining vessels and he makes fantastic dessert; high income earner and good looking too. T is very keen on me, he asks me out every single day and he is happy to cook for me. I kinda enjoy being spoiled, lying on the couch while the man cooks and cleans, I think I can live with that.

Last night, he raised the super question "Where do I stand in this friendship?"

So whats the problem? He is cute, sweet and has a fit body, has a house 2 mins walk away from the beach, has a cat that I actually like and he can cook!

The problems are:

1. My mom doesn't like me being with someone who needs to work offshore so often
2. I am not sure if I am cut out for a guy who needs to work offshore every other month
3. I find it hard to understand his British accent
4. Though I love his dessert, the other dishes he made were quite scary
5. He lives freaking far, 45 mins drive from my house
6. Wei said he looks gay, I don't want to be an undercover for him. How the hell do I find out if he really is a gay?
7. I am not sure if I am ready to jump into another relationship.

I don't like grey area in relationship, I have asked him out tonight for coffee so I can talk to him and make myself clear.

If he can't accept that I want to take things slowly then I think I would have to stop seeing him.

I just want to make sure that I don't date the wrong guy this time!

Copy Cat

I was reading a friend's blog Librarian, she mentioned a few random things about herself. I think it was rather interesting. I shall make one too..hhehehe I am a copy cat

1. I hate Risotto!
2. I count in Cantonese too!
3. I have a tendency of losing my shoes in the office....
4. I sleeptalk and sleepwalk
5. I am extremely good with names and faces
6. I dont like to pain my nails
7. I can type without looking at the keypad
8. I can study and 'listen' to TV at the same time
9. I can finish a 45 mins drama within 10 mins
10. I have more than 30 pairs of shoes, 11 pairs of jeans and more than 20 handbags
11. I am super lazy in replying SMS, dont be surprise if I only reply your SMS 3 days later
12. I like to scold people with my limited Hokkien vocab
13. I like to say "Kill you" to people who irritates me
14. I hate loud people
15. I stay friend with all my ex(s)

Back to KL

Mom is pastering me to go back to KL for my grandpa's 80th birthday. So I finally decided to go back in late November so that I can celebrate my mom's birthday and my grandpa's birthday. The ticket is more expensive but I guess is worth it sicne I get to spend some time with my mom on her birthday.

Seems that my family is pretty worried that I am still single. I often hear my friends complaining to me that ehtier parents are playing match making. I thought I didnt have to worry about that until I reach 30. But apparently my mom is very concerned indeed. I am afraid that she will match make me with someone when I am back in KL. *Sweat

I am thinking of doing a post grad degree now, looking at Masters degree, probably MBA with International Business in China or Masters Law with International Mining and Resources, I doubt I can qualify for the latter...but *shrug

My mom called me crazy..thinking of studying again.

We cannot choose our beginning; but we can create our journey

One of Wei's cats passed away few days ago, she was very sad and part of the reason coz she thought she didnt take care of her very well in the past. Due to some reasons, she didn't like the cat very much, neither do I seriously, simply because I am not a cat lover.

What I want to say to Wei is, we are normal human beings (凡人） and we have feeling; happy, sad, disappointed, angry, miserable, etc. We are only ordinary human beings, we tend to dislike thing that bring us bad memory or things that will inflict our frustration.. You had your reason to dislike Muffin ...

Very often, I have to tell myself to be 'reasonable'. Even if i am very very angry over something, I have to tell myself to calm down and do the 'right' thing instead of expressing my anger and frustration. Because we are only 凡人, there are alot of thigns are beyond our control, what we can do is only keep reminding ourselves 'do the right things'.

But I think you did well because you never did leave her behind, left her unfed nor unsheltered. If she thought that she was treated badly, she wouldnt even go back to your house. She is a cat but she had feelings and senses too.

I believe in destiny and fate, if Muffin was fated to have such journey then she would have it. Just like what I always tell my 'ex' best friend, we can choose the lifestyle we want, but we can never change our fate. She's fated to be born in such family and have such responsibilities, yes she could change by leaving all that behind but if she does, then it is no longer "her" because her personality is what made her today.

Human beings..we tend to only regret when we loose it; I regretted thatI didnt take care of my two dogs very well before they were taken/sent away. One was killed by the authority another one ran away from its owner's place and didnt come back; I regretted that my previous relationship was a failure, I should have handled that better at the very beginning; and alot more.

My point is sometimes we will make severe mistake that is inreversible, we can grieve, cry but we have to move on, what important is we learn.... I made mistakes that still haunt me in the night, dreaming about them and waking up in the middle of the night. I can't get rid of them thoguh they are in my past but I have learned to accept them and thinking about them remind me not to repeat the same mistakes.

I hope you understand my point here. I have told others to leave you alone for a few days, knowing that you didn't want to be disturbed. Call me when you feel like going out, lets have coffee or even alcohol... your call.

*wink wink

Trying to recall some interesting conversations I had lately....


Watching Big Brother with R. Dave got kicked out, he met with his bf (He is gay). R got his eye rolling when he saw the two boys kissing and hugging.

R: "Do you have gays in your family?"
Me: "Erm... let me think....." "No.. only step relatives"
R: "Ok, cool.."
Me: "Why? Do you have any?"
R: "Nah.... "*looking away*

***** Moment of silence *****

R: "Actually my dad is gay"
Me: "Hahahahahah... yea right! Thats the biggest joke I've heard..!"

****R's face turned stiff****
Me: "You are not serious, are you?"
R: "I am farking serious... he admitted he is gay when I was 21"
Me: "Oh...... ermm..... er..." *OMFG... what do I say now?*

What could I say? "Hey dude, dont worry, homosexual genetics are not inheritable probably!"?


D: "Hey Jane, heard that you broke up recently. I am sorry"
Me: "Nah, is ok... old news anyway."
D: "How you feeling?"
Me: "Fine, single can be fun, just abit lonley sometime when you need someone to listen to your bullshit"
D: "But you were always alone even when you were in the relationship! He was in Sg and you were in Perth!"

Ah... how true is that. Hahahahaha


I have a few more interesting conversations but I better get back to work now. To be continued...

My sense of humour

Sometimes I am amused by my own sense of humour.

HY: "Hows the girl that Wei met?"
Me: "Not her type at all"
HY: "Whats she like?"
Me: "Plain..very plain, like white rice"
Me: "Wei eats brown rice"
HY: "What kind of answer is that?"
Me: "True what! very explicit leh...."

Parents

I realised that the longer I live in Perth, the more reluctant I feel to go back to Malaysia for holidays.

Now my mom is pastering me to go back in December for my grandpa's birthday and Chinese New Year in February. I asked her immediately "Do you think I own this company?". She then asked me to go back for one week each. It will cost me 1k on air ticket alone to go back to Malaysia, go back twice means 2k..plus expenses. I will be looking at 3k at least, all my savings will be gone. Tsk tsk.....

I am still deciding, when to go back, December or February? I really dont want to spend all my money travelling back and forth to Malaysia, I rather go somewhere I've never been to like Shanghai, Melbourne and Taiwan.

I understand my parents want me to be with them during Chinese New Year when it is time for reunion especially I am their only child, they will be so lonely if I am not there. Sigh... decision decision

Any suggestions?

MY webcam

Tried to explore the webcame the other night, I was too bored... didnt feel like doing anything. I think I look like a ghost. I didn't know how to adjust the lighting. : (

Just a lil update

I am feeling very sick now, even the doctor said my body is too run down, my body is aching, eyes are watery, nose is red... but my skin got better. Wierd. I just can't belive I have been sick for almost one month now. I am on a sickathon ...

Anyway, HY has gone back to Adelaide now; I almost forgot what was it like when we used to party in KL. HY gave alot of her "first" to me, her first clubbing, her first cigarette, not sure abt her first alcohol...... hahah we shall do it again gal. Lets try cigar and night swim next time. You have to come back for my birthday! Halloween party!

A small encounter happened a few days ago. I thank my friends who stood up for me thinking I was being treated unfairly. But I hope you girls understand why I kept quiet, I dont want to make things ugly between us, no matter what I say... things are not going to change. I accept that everyone's different, different mentality, different preference and religion beliefs. I will apprecite it if you girls can calm down and leave it behind you. Yes, I was angry, hurt and upset... actually you girls know that my flu was better on weekend then it just got so bad after that incident.

Our pyjamas party.... I can't stop laughing with wei's beanie

Lucky I still have my Garfield PJ

Wei and Me... I look half drunk... I wasn't even close to 'high'

HY and Me.... We had so much fun at Court! So many cute guys there but sigh... see no touch!

Hahahhah sorry..but i have to put this up

Wei cought me unguarded when I was showing HY the video I recorded. Wei said it is very natural... Let this photo mark the 10 yr anniversary of our friendship! I love you babe!

Funny

Million words but nothing to say

Daunting....

I have too many things to put down but have no idea which to start

Lets put it that way, a person that I thought I knew has become a stranger to me. So shallow suddenly....

Final Clarification

I hope after reading this post, none of my friends will come to me and condemn about Adrian or our long gone relationship again.

Yes, we had a fantastic time together, including all the ups and downs. Finally, a few months ago, we reached a cross road and realised we need to be going into different directions and we can no longer give what one's expected.

Adrian was my best friend and an excellent bf, they were only 2 of us in the relationship so no third party has the right to condemn/comment on our break up. Its over people... why do you still want to bring it up?

We are still friends and we talk once in a while. Adrian is still the excellent guy I met on the first day of uni, I have no doubt that he will be a fantastic husband/father/person anytime in the future and I wish him all the best.

Now... get back to work