Few nights ago, right before I climbed into my bed, my mom called, it was 12:30am. My mom doesnt call that late so I thought it had got to do with my grandma. To my surprise, it was my dad, apparently my dad was very sick, due to high blood pressure, he threw up and had dillusion of me waiting to be picked up at KLIA, KL airport.
He kept telling my mom that I was alone at the airport and it was raining heavily, he actually took his keys and hopped into the car, started the engine and wanted to reverse out of the porch. Lucky my mom managed to lure him out of the car. That's why my mom called, just to check where was I and told me to call my sis.
So, at around 2am, my dad was sent to the Emergency and had a CT scan. Apprently it was his high blood pressure... 111, the normal level is 80-90.
I was very scared, I even planned to fly back to KL the next morning but mom stopped me.
I was worried that I would lose my dad, no, I knew he was not dying, but I was afraid he will just go senile and forget everyone in the family. Human.... is vulnerable sometimes
I am feeling so stressed out lately, studies + work + father, alot of pimples popping out on my face :(
I have to cancel my Margaret River trip because I have to study...... sigh.. but then again, will be freezing in down south ...grrrrr
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Poser
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
A coupls of my friends have been complaining to me about their long distant relationship... and very often I tell them "If you cannot change it, learn to enjoy it"
Yes, if you cant change the distance, learn to enjoy the distance. Being so far away from one another; you will get enormous freedom to do things that you want to do, no, I am not asking you to cheat, but the freedom to concentrate on things you really want to do, ie. job, studies, hobbies, sports.
Wei tol dme about one of her gal friends who doesnt like to bathe...... OMG! Watch out guys, there is a girl who doesnt like to bathe after a hot sweaty day in Singapore!
This gal friend of hers would bathe once in the morning and that's it. According to Wei, the girl's bed stinks.... I have no doubt
I also know a girl who doesnt like to wear underwear, she only wears underwear during her period. How interesting? No, I am not making this up, it is true!
This is the car that I am driving now, new Toyota Yaris 2006 Sedan.
Everyone says it is too big for me but heck I care....me love it.
Ah...and the new car smell...lol
I am still contemplating if I should allow Mylo to sit in my new car..... Shall I?
Yes, if you cant change the distance, learn to enjoy the distance. Being so far away from one another; you will get enormous freedom to do things that you want to do, no, I am not asking you to cheat, but the freedom to concentrate on things you really want to do, ie. job, studies, hobbies, sports.
Wei tol dme about one of her gal friends who doesnt like to bathe...... OMG! Watch out guys, there is a girl who doesnt like to bathe after a hot sweaty day in Singapore!
This gal friend of hers would bathe once in the morning and that's it. According to Wei, the girl's bed stinks.... I have no doubt
I also know a girl who doesnt like to wear underwear, she only wears underwear during her period. How interesting? No, I am not making this up, it is true!
This is the car that I am driving now, new Toyota Yaris 2006 Sedan.
Everyone says it is too big for me but heck I care....me love it.
Ah...and the new car smell...lol
I am still contemplating if I should allow Mylo to sit in my new car..... Shall I?
Monday, May 22, 2006
Busy Bee
Some friends asked if I have stopped blogging; no I did not stop, I was just getting extremely busy with work, studies and some business stuff.
Here am I, blogging on a freaking Monday morning, had an Email from boss, telling me what she needs by the time she gets in, which is another 2 hours away. Right after this entry, I will dive into a bunch of numbers and statistic....Oh Lord
I had a lot of interesting encounters lately, very interesting indeed......
Met a guy, who thinks he is a casanova born again....... nice guy but soemtimes I feel overwhelmed by the conversation we had
Wei had an accident, her car wrecked totally and she has to look for a new car. We were suppose to have dinner on that evening but she ended up in the hospital for the night and I was running around to sort of things for her. Glad that she is ok and no big injuries.... She borrowed my bike to get around to do her errands....hey woman, you better take good care of my new bike!
Started my own home business, helping people to lose weight and stay healthy. I have lost 2kg so far and 1 inch off from my waist and I don't feel lethargic anymore after lunch. The business is starting off well, hopefull it will be better.
The BEST news is, I am getting my new car today! A brand new Toyota Yaris Sedan 2006 (Dark grey); why dark grey? Because there are no any colours available and I am not fussy, so what the heck, thought of getting a red hottie but then I will have to wait 3 months ><, so dark grey it is then.
I have a friend, whom I dislike...... I hate him sometimes. Every word from his mouth is sacarstic. For example:
Aunt: Hey Jane, where did you have lunch this afternoon?
Me: Oh suppose to have Jap food, but ended in Ipoh Garden.... Ipoh Hor Fun!
Sucker: Ipoh Garden again!?? Why do you go there all the time? Really that good?
Me: Oh, do we see one another all the time?
Sucker: No
Me: Then how do you know I go there all the time.....
*absolute silence in the room, sucker's gf was confused....
Example 2
Me: I hate the owner of G***** C****** boss, he is really a boss...so bossy and always asked the customers to hurry up.
Sucker: Because you are not me..... I know him.. he doesn't do that to me
Me: Yea, coz you are a sucker (Of course, I kept that to myself)
I am glad I am not the only person who hates him.
Mother's Day:
Sent both of my parents to a weekend get away plus 2 concert tickets to watch their favourite singer in Genting Highland, of course that includes Father's Day gift.
The very 'dulan' thing was my mom's reaction:
Me: Hey mom, for mother's day, I am plannign to send you and dad to Genting for the weekend plus Fei Yu Ching's concert.
Mom: When? *I expected...'Gasp! Really? Oh wow, thank you!"
Me: 10th June
Mom: Oh, Fei Yu Ching? ermm yea your dad likes him too.....
Me: Yea, so want or not?
Mom: Let me think about it... I will let you know
Me:.........
Mom: ok byebye
#$%$#^$%#
Of course, they took the offer in the end...... parents these days... so diff to satisfy them
Here am I, blogging on a freaking Monday morning, had an Email from boss, telling me what she needs by the time she gets in, which is another 2 hours away. Right after this entry, I will dive into a bunch of numbers and statistic....Oh Lord
I had a lot of interesting encounters lately, very interesting indeed......
Met a guy, who thinks he is a casanova born again....... nice guy but soemtimes I feel overwhelmed by the conversation we had
Wei had an accident, her car wrecked totally and she has to look for a new car. We were suppose to have dinner on that evening but she ended up in the hospital for the night and I was running around to sort of things for her. Glad that she is ok and no big injuries.... She borrowed my bike to get around to do her errands....hey woman, you better take good care of my new bike!
Started my own home business, helping people to lose weight and stay healthy. I have lost 2kg so far and 1 inch off from my waist and I don't feel lethargic anymore after lunch. The business is starting off well, hopefull it will be better.
The BEST news is, I am getting my new car today! A brand new Toyota Yaris Sedan 2006 (Dark grey); why dark grey? Because there are no any colours available and I am not fussy, so what the heck, thought of getting a red hottie but then I will have to wait 3 months ><, so dark grey it is then.
I have a friend, whom I dislike...... I hate him sometimes. Every word from his mouth is sacarstic. For example:
Aunt: Hey Jane, where did you have lunch this afternoon?
Me: Oh suppose to have Jap food, but ended in Ipoh Garden.... Ipoh Hor Fun!
Sucker: Ipoh Garden again!?? Why do you go there all the time? Really that good?
Me: Oh, do we see one another all the time?
Sucker: No
Me: Then how do you know I go there all the time.....
*absolute silence in the room, sucker's gf was confused....
Example 2
Me: I hate the owner of G***** C****** boss, he is really a boss...so bossy and always asked the customers to hurry up.
Sucker: Because you are not me..... I know him.. he doesn't do that to me
Me: Yea, coz you are a sucker (Of course, I kept that to myself)
I am glad I am not the only person who hates him.
Mother's Day:
Sent both of my parents to a weekend get away plus 2 concert tickets to watch their favourite singer in Genting Highland, of course that includes Father's Day gift.
The very 'dulan' thing was my mom's reaction:
Me: Hey mom, for mother's day, I am plannign to send you and dad to Genting for the weekend plus Fei Yu Ching's concert.
Mom: When? *I expected...'Gasp! Really? Oh wow, thank you!"
Me: 10th June
Mom: Oh, Fei Yu Ching? ermm yea your dad likes him too.....
Me: Yea, so want or not?
Mom: Let me think about it... I will let you know
Me:.........
Mom: ok byebye
#$%$#^$%#
Of course, they took the offer in the end...... parents these days... so diff to satisfy them
Monday, May 15, 2006
3 years
Yesterday was our (supposedly) 3 years anniversary. I was not happy but I tried to put up a happy face because I know I have to put it behind me.
Went to Kings Park on Sat night, there was where he asked me to be his gf. Looking at the view last night, I realised there are many changes since then, there is convention centre, the memorial tower that they built (I think it is for Anzac), the additional stretch on the freeway.....and us, we have changed.
Maybe I was naive to think that we would never change; apparently we did........
Sometimes, I do feel very empty and always look back at the things that we did together and they never failed to put a smile on my face. It is sad to know that they are in the past and there is no way for me to get them back.
Went to Kings Park on Sat night, there was where he asked me to be his gf. Looking at the view last night, I realised there are many changes since then, there is convention centre, the memorial tower that they built (I think it is for Anzac), the additional stretch on the freeway.....and us, we have changed.
Maybe I was naive to think that we would never change; apparently we did........
Sometimes, I do feel very empty and always look back at the things that we did together and they never failed to put a smile on my face. It is sad to know that they are in the past and there is no way for me to get them back.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Cheating
I don't understand why most married men think sleeping with hookers is fine, they think it is a business deal, only sex an dmoney involve; so it is not considered cheating.
I was talking to my sister on the phone the other night, she told me that one of our friends is thinking of leaving the husband because he is seeing a woman from China. So she found out the husband was cheating and confronted him, the husband claimed that he was only paying her for sex.
HELLO!? Since when it is alright for a 'husband' to pay another woman for sex? You talk to your wife if you are not satified with your sex life; you dont go out and look for alternative....
Do you mind if your wife goes out and look for a gigolo when she feels like having soemthing different in the bed?
Then, I met a male friend recently. We were chatting about being mono in a relationship; well this fella claimed that he has 7 lovers and 1 gf. I don't know how true is that but heck.... he is afraid that the gf may find out; he said his gf may chop his dick and feed to the dogs. Why still do it then? If you dont want someone to find out what you are doing, best is not to do it. I learned that in Primary 6.
After hearing and seeing so many failed marriages and relationships, including my own experience, I am considering to find a sperm donor and be a mother. I think being a full time working class and full time mom is more than enough to handle than being a full time wife who has to guard her husband from all incoming threats. I dont want to play games in relationship anymore.
No, I dont want to be gay...stop asking me to be gay you people, neither becoming a bi!
I was talking to my sister on the phone the other night, she told me that one of our friends is thinking of leaving the husband because he is seeing a woman from China. So she found out the husband was cheating and confronted him, the husband claimed that he was only paying her for sex.
HELLO!? Since when it is alright for a 'husband' to pay another woman for sex? You talk to your wife if you are not satified with your sex life; you dont go out and look for alternative....
Do you mind if your wife goes out and look for a gigolo when she feels like having soemthing different in the bed?
Then, I met a male friend recently. We were chatting about being mono in a relationship; well this fella claimed that he has 7 lovers and 1 gf. I don't know how true is that but heck.... he is afraid that the gf may find out; he said his gf may chop his dick and feed to the dogs. Why still do it then? If you dont want someone to find out what you are doing, best is not to do it. I learned that in Primary 6.
After hearing and seeing so many failed marriages and relationships, including my own experience, I am considering to find a sperm donor and be a mother. I think being a full time working class and full time mom is more than enough to handle than being a full time wife who has to guard her husband from all incoming threats. I dont want to play games in relationship anymore.
No, I dont want to be gay...stop asking me to be gay you people, neither becoming a bi!
Friday, April 28, 2006
What's wrong with me
I have no idea what's wrong with me lately; I keep making mistakes at work, not major mistakes but enough to ruin my professionalism and I keep getting up late and either late for work or just on time.
Not sure if it is the emotional stress; the break up, the family problem and my study....
Some people said I broke up at the wrong timing... I was wondering, is there a timing for break up? I didn't know there is expiration date for relationship.
I think maybe God wants me to be a stronger person and put all these challenges on me at one time. I am trying my best to take them all in and solve them one by one. Some problems are beyond my reach, I can only sit back and see how they go.
I think the worst thing is I can't talk to anyone about the problems because I have to keep them discrete and again, no one is obligated to listen to my shit.
This is a crappy post, nothing significant...just want to grumble
Not sure if it is the emotional stress; the break up, the family problem and my study....
Some people said I broke up at the wrong timing... I was wondering, is there a timing for break up? I didn't know there is expiration date for relationship.
I think maybe God wants me to be a stronger person and put all these challenges on me at one time. I am trying my best to take them all in and solve them one by one. Some problems are beyond my reach, I can only sit back and see how they go.
I think the worst thing is I can't talk to anyone about the problems because I have to keep them discrete and again, no one is obligated to listen to my shit.
This is a crappy post, nothing significant...just want to grumble
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Final Goodbye
It has been more than a week since the break up; I think I have accepted the fact that he is gone and I have to move on alone.
Thank you very much for all my friends who tried to comfort me and bring me out.... thanks guys and gals
Talked to many friends and they all think it is a waste; I think it is a waste too but all the memories we had will be precious and treasured.
Maybe we will be two parallel lines forever or we may cross one day in the future; we don't know but lets leave it in God's hands.
If he finds another girl, I wish him all the best truthfully from the bottom of my heart.
Currently, I am trying to put it behind me and move one, it is tough but I think I can overcome it.
Here, I wish him all the best in everything he does, especially in his career and hope that one day we can meet again; maybe in Singapore, maybe in Perth. I hope that at that time, we can still give one another a big smile, a big hug and say 'Howdy?'.
Good night and good bye....
Thank you very much for all my friends who tried to comfort me and bring me out.... thanks guys and gals
Talked to many friends and they all think it is a waste; I think it is a waste too but all the memories we had will be precious and treasured.
Maybe we will be two parallel lines forever or we may cross one day in the future; we don't know but lets leave it in God's hands.
If he finds another girl, I wish him all the best truthfully from the bottom of my heart.
Currently, I am trying to put it behind me and move one, it is tough but I think I can overcome it.
Here, I wish him all the best in everything he does, especially in his career and hope that one day we can meet again; maybe in Singapore, maybe in Perth. I hope that at that time, we can still give one another a big smile, a big hug and say 'Howdy?'.
Good night and good bye....
Saturday, April 22, 2006
obsessed
I think I am obsessed with him...
I can't stop thinking......
Sometimes, I couldnt control but to sms him or even call him...... sometimes he will ignore them
I thought I have stopped crying; but... I just can't help myself.
I can't stop thinking......
Sometimes, I couldnt control but to sms him or even call him...... sometimes he will ignore them
I thought I have stopped crying; but... I just can't help myself.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Maybe I shall leave Perth.....
No, I don't hate Perth but I feel sad wherever I go because everywhere will remind me of something.....
Listened to Wei, went shopping last night; I went to Carousel....bad choice
It was there we held hands for the very first time, when I walked passed the store where we held our hands, I felt like crying......
I saw a store having sales on nice men Polo-T, then I thought 'oooo will be nice for him to wear to work', I went up and checked out; suddenly it striked me that he no longer need me to take care of him and I am in no position to do that anymore.
I was thinking to change location and go to Garden City; but then again we been to Garden City more than Carousel so it will only be worse.
Last night... in my dream... a few scenes pop up......conversations that we had
'Darling, can you iron my shirt? I don't know why but the more I iron, the more lines I get'
'Darling, can you rub my head?' 'Er...how?' "I teach you'
'Darling, sorry lah, I shouldn't have said that to you..' 'Dump you ah!'
'Darling, carry me...' 'Cannot, you just had dinner..... I scare I will drop you' 'Louya lah you'
'Darling, let's play the 7 game, loser has to let the other tickles for 1 minute' 'Dont want, you bully me' ' Wahahahaha'
'Darling, don't angry lah, I let you tickle ok?' 'Ok, but you must lie down with your arms open, cannot dodge and must laugh' 'Huh....cannot lah!'
Is there a memory eraser?
Listened to Wei, went shopping last night; I went to Carousel....bad choice
It was there we held hands for the very first time, when I walked passed the store where we held our hands, I felt like crying......
I saw a store having sales on nice men Polo-T, then I thought 'oooo will be nice for him to wear to work', I went up and checked out; suddenly it striked me that he no longer need me to take care of him and I am in no position to do that anymore.
I was thinking to change location and go to Garden City; but then again we been to Garden City more than Carousel so it will only be worse.
Last night... in my dream... a few scenes pop up......conversations that we had
'Darling, can you iron my shirt? I don't know why but the more I iron, the more lines I get'
'Darling, can you rub my head?' 'Er...how?' "I teach you'
'Darling, sorry lah, I shouldn't have said that to you..' 'Dump you ah!'
'Darling, carry me...' 'Cannot, you just had dinner..... I scare I will drop you' 'Louya lah you'
'Darling, let's play the 7 game, loser has to let the other tickles for 1 minute' 'Dont want, you bully me' ' Wahahahaha'
'Darling, don't angry lah, I let you tickle ok?' 'Ok, but you must lie down with your arms open, cannot dodge and must laugh' 'Huh....cannot lah!'
Is there a memory eraser?
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Every night, I cry myself to sleep, before I fall asleep, I hope that everythign was a dream, tomorrow will be fine and will be the same like last time.
The next morning, I realise that it was not a dream, the man who told me he loves me forever is gone and he is not coming back.
I am exhausted...
Used all my strength to hold my tears when I talked to my parents and my sister.....
Used my strength to concentrate at work and smile in front of my colleagues.
Used all my strength to hold my tears when I was talking to him
Used all my strength to pretend nothing has happened in front of my friends
The next morning, I realise that it was not a dream, the man who told me he loves me forever is gone and he is not coming back.
I am exhausted...
Used all my strength to hold my tears when I talked to my parents and my sister.....
Used my strength to concentrate at work and smile in front of my colleagues.
Used all my strength to hold my tears when I was talking to him
Used all my strength to pretend nothing has happened in front of my friends
Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough
i don't wanna lose you,
I don't wanna use you
Just to have somebody by my side
And i don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But i don't wanna be the one to cry
That don't really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool i keep losing my place
And i keep seeing you walk through that door
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
Now i could never change you
I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes i may have hurt you
But i did not desert you
Maybe i just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
And there's no way home
When it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where i used to lay
And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know its your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
I don't wanna use you
Just to have somebody by my side
And i don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But i don't wanna be the one to cry
That don't really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool i keep losing my place
And i keep seeing you walk through that door
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
Now i could never change you
I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes i may have hurt you
But i did not desert you
Maybe i just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
And there's no way home
When it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where i used to lay
And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know its your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Break Down
If 100 is my break down point, I think I am at 99.
Heart broken now because just ended my 3 years relationship with the man that I thought I will spend my life with.
Worried sick because one of my grand aunt; who used to make alot of pretty dresses for me when I was young is diagnosed with 2nd/3rd stage breasts cancer; had her mastectomy yesterday, waiting for results now. The bad news is, the doctor said she cannot have Chemo as her body is very weak, she will not survive thru Chemo.
Sister told me she is having a crisis.....worried for her also. I have to stand by to give her whatever help she needs.
Man, just when I thought my world is falling apart..... there are other parts falling on me as well.
I think I am going to break down soon..... some friends said I am strong, they know I will pull through; but I am no superwoman.....
Heart broken now because just ended my 3 years relationship with the man that I thought I will spend my life with.
Worried sick because one of my grand aunt; who used to make alot of pretty dresses for me when I was young is diagnosed with 2nd/3rd stage breasts cancer; had her mastectomy yesterday, waiting for results now. The bad news is, the doctor said she cannot have Chemo as her body is very weak, she will not survive thru Chemo.
Sister told me she is having a crisis.....worried for her also. I have to stand by to give her whatever help she needs.
Man, just when I thought my world is falling apart..... there are other parts falling on me as well.
I think I am going to break down soon..... some friends said I am strong, they know I will pull through; but I am no superwoman.....
I remember when I was a kid, my father will be going round telling other kids and even my relatives not to make me cry coz I will have breathing problem. The doctor didnt classify that as Asthma.
I thought that problem has long gone but the familiar feeling kicked in yesterday evening..... Forced myself to take deep breath and lied quietly on bed.
Talked to my best friend; told her for years.... I thought I have forgotten how heart break feels, but it is all coming back to me now.
It was very kind of her to offer herself to be my gf if I intend to be a lesbian. I promised to keep the seat for her. My mom was freak out when I told her that I may consider my friend's suggestion.
I feel like running away but I have far too many responsibilities at this moment, I cant leave this place till end of July.
Will I give up my PR to go back to KL? Don't think I will do it, at least not in the next 2-3 years. Boss is signing new contract with me.
The saddest thing is; I realised that HE doesnt care anymore.
Now I totally understand why do some people say "Loving one another doesn't mean you can be together".....
I thought that problem has long gone but the familiar feeling kicked in yesterday evening..... Forced myself to take deep breath and lied quietly on bed.
Talked to my best friend; told her for years.... I thought I have forgotten how heart break feels, but it is all coming back to me now.
It was very kind of her to offer herself to be my gf if I intend to be a lesbian. I promised to keep the seat for her. My mom was freak out when I told her that I may consider my friend's suggestion.
I feel like running away but I have far too many responsibilities at this moment, I cant leave this place till end of July.
Will I give up my PR to go back to KL? Don't think I will do it, at least not in the next 2-3 years. Boss is signing new contract with me.
The saddest thing is; I realised that HE doesnt care anymore.
Now I totally understand why do some people say "Loving one another doesn't mean you can be together".....
Monday, April 17, 2006
My heart is aching with filmstrips of images running in my mind.
Took out the picture that I kept in my wallet.......
Took out all the cards that HE gave me...... those that HE hide around my room
Dust the gigantic Forever Friends bear that HE bought me.. time to put it in a corner or maybe donate to a toys library
Took out the shirts HE left here, some still have HIS scent; smell that ease my mind
Watched the clip that HE did for me for our 2nd yr anniversary, saw pictures that sent me to memory lane again
Went through all the pictures we took together, burnt them together with the clip onto a CD and deleted them from my computer.
Put the ring that HE bought back in to the jewellery box, I can never bear to wear it again.
Broke the news to my parents; mom took it easily.... she said she understand how I feel, she asked me to be more cautious when looking for a partner next time. Dad said he didnt think he has to teach me what to do because I am an adult now and he respects whatever decision I make.
Aunt said she knew it is hard, especially when we are so far apart, unable to be there for one another at crucial times.
Took out the picture that I kept in my wallet.......
Took out all the cards that HE gave me...... those that HE hide around my room
Dust the gigantic Forever Friends bear that HE bought me.. time to put it in a corner or maybe donate to a toys library
Took out the shirts HE left here, some still have HIS scent; smell that ease my mind
Watched the clip that HE did for me for our 2nd yr anniversary, saw pictures that sent me to memory lane again
Went through all the pictures we took together, burnt them together with the clip onto a CD and deleted them from my computer.
Put the ring that HE bought back in to the jewellery box, I can never bear to wear it again.
Broke the news to my parents; mom took it easily.... she said she understand how I feel, she asked me to be more cautious when looking for a partner next time. Dad said he didnt think he has to teach me what to do because I am an adult now and he respects whatever decision I make.
Aunt said she knew it is hard, especially when we are so far apart, unable to be there for one another at crucial times.
Memories Lane
Last night......I did
1. I went to the church that he used to go when he was in Perth, sometimes I would tag along, attempt to learn more about his religion. Again, I didnt feel I belong to that place, it was odd that HE was not sitting beside me, holding my hands to make me feel more comfortable.
2. I walked around Northbridge, remembering the silly night we had; refused to drive to Northbridge, we took bus.. walking hands in hands like 2 highschool kids on their second date.
3. I went to Kings Park...cliche....thats the place we always go when we feel like having quiet and romantic moments. It was there we became an item.
4. I went to Murdoch.....drove along the road in front of the house HE lived. Drove around uni car park, remembered that there was the time when HE bought me lunch, sitting and waiting in front of my lecture hall in a terribly cold weather.
5. I roamed around the house and remembered the times when HE came over in the middle of the night because I was not feeling well and accompanied me till morning to bring me to doctor.
6. I talked to Sam, I apologised to Sam that now HE will no longer come and visit him and play with him. For the first time, Sam rest his head on my shoulder.
Today I will......
Pack everything into a box and seal it...... and put it in a special corner under my bed.
Bye
1. I went to the church that he used to go when he was in Perth, sometimes I would tag along, attempt to learn more about his religion. Again, I didnt feel I belong to that place, it was odd that HE was not sitting beside me, holding my hands to make me feel more comfortable.
2. I walked around Northbridge, remembering the silly night we had; refused to drive to Northbridge, we took bus.. walking hands in hands like 2 highschool kids on their second date.
3. I went to Kings Park...cliche....thats the place we always go when we feel like having quiet and romantic moments. It was there we became an item.
4. I went to Murdoch.....drove along the road in front of the house HE lived. Drove around uni car park, remembered that there was the time when HE bought me lunch, sitting and waiting in front of my lecture hall in a terribly cold weather.
5. I roamed around the house and remembered the times when HE came over in the middle of the night because I was not feeling well and accompanied me till morning to bring me to doctor.
6. I talked to Sam, I apologised to Sam that now HE will no longer come and visit him and play with him. For the first time, Sam rest his head on my shoulder.
Today I will......
Pack everything into a box and seal it...... and put it in a special corner under my bed.
Bye
Decision Made
Yes, I have decided and he has decided.
We both decided that this is the end.
Please do not ask me why, all I can say is we no longer on the same page and things have changed.
I am indeed very heart broken but the best remedy is to be alone and cry my heart out.
Dont try to ask me to cheer up because I can't.
Thank you very much
We both decided that this is the end.
Please do not ask me why, all I can say is we no longer on the same page and things have changed.
I am indeed very heart broken but the best remedy is to be alone and cry my heart out.
Dont try to ask me to cheer up because I can't.
Thank you very much
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Foundation
Have you ever asked yourself whats the foundation of a relationship? A marriage?
It never came across me that Religion is a prerequisite of a marriage, I always thought the prerequisite should be LOVE, RESPECT, COMMITMENT and PROMISES.
Apparently Religion will put two person with different beliefs in different pages and you cant marry one person if both of you are not on the same page.
Mom and Dad always taught me that all religions are similar, they meant the same thing... I think that's why their marriage is still in tact, because they believe in the same thing. Of course they would quarrel like Cats and Dogs sometimes, but everything fell back on their commitment/respect/love to one another, it didnt fall back on RELIGION.
It never came across me that Religion is a prerequisite of a marriage, I always thought the prerequisite should be LOVE, RESPECT, COMMITMENT and PROMISES.
Apparently Religion will put two person with different beliefs in different pages and you cant marry one person if both of you are not on the same page.
Mom and Dad always taught me that all religions are similar, they meant the same thing... I think that's why their marriage is still in tact, because they believe in the same thing. Of course they would quarrel like Cats and Dogs sometimes, but everything fell back on their commitment/respect/love to one another, it didnt fall back on RELIGION.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Misc.
Bike Riding
I have started bike riding 2 weeks ago, got Felix to help me to get a very basic, 'my-height' mountain bike.
Learning how to balance the bike while going on the straight, forward direction is a challenge, I fell, crashed, got bruises.... and finally managed to cycle in a straight line now.... However, still need to brush up my skill as I just crashed into a bush the other night. Yes, laugh.. go ahead and laugh your heart out.
Olives Picking
Went to my boss's house on Sunday afternoon for an Olives Picking party. 20 people were picking the olives from the trees... the harvest was great! We were served a 5 course Italian cuisine....and homemade ice-ceram!
The peak of that event is having the Sports Minister sitting beside me eating and chatting... I taught him how to slit the olives lol and his wife is a lovely quiet lady.
Migration Course
I have started studying for my migration qualification, the first module is to get familiar with all the terminologies used in law, especially migration law. What's the differences between parliament, executive and judiciary? OMG..... I wanted to cry when I found out that I have to at least understand, memorise how does the government work.
I force myself to study at least 2 hours every night before I sleep, so far so good. Hope that I can keep up with the determination.
Parasite Baby
Watched Medical Innovation (I think) last night before I fell asleep, they were talking about fetus in fitro (or something similar, tried to Google but couldnt find). Basically is another fetus growing in a baby's body. The program showed some rather disturbing pictures I would say, it definitely affected my decision of having 3 kids.
Parasite Baby
I have started bike riding 2 weeks ago, got Felix to help me to get a very basic, 'my-height' mountain bike.
Learning how to balance the bike while going on the straight, forward direction is a challenge, I fell, crashed, got bruises.... and finally managed to cycle in a straight line now.... However, still need to brush up my skill as I just crashed into a bush the other night. Yes, laugh.. go ahead and laugh your heart out.
Olives Picking
Went to my boss's house on Sunday afternoon for an Olives Picking party. 20 people were picking the olives from the trees... the harvest was great! We were served a 5 course Italian cuisine....and homemade ice-ceram!
The peak of that event is having the Sports Minister sitting beside me eating and chatting... I taught him how to slit the olives lol and his wife is a lovely quiet lady.
Migration Course
I have started studying for my migration qualification, the first module is to get familiar with all the terminologies used in law, especially migration law. What's the differences between parliament, executive and judiciary? OMG..... I wanted to cry when I found out that I have to at least understand, memorise how does the government work.
I force myself to study at least 2 hours every night before I sleep, so far so good. Hope that I can keep up with the determination.
Parasite Baby
Watched Medical Innovation (I think) last night before I fell asleep, they were talking about fetus in fitro (or something similar, tried to Google but couldnt find). Basically is another fetus growing in a baby's body. The program showed some rather disturbing pictures I would say, it definitely affected my decision of having 3 kids.
Parasite Baby
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